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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 14/05/2008 22:18:07
Posts: 30, Visits: 32 |
| Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~Grantland Rice
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. ~Robert Lynd
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. ~A.A. Milne
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. ~P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser. ~Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears. ~Bobby Jones
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right. ~Ben Crenshaw
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~Arthur Daley
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it. ~Ted Ray, Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. ~Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~Paul Gallico
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~Author Unknown
It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~Bruce McCall
Forget your opponents; always play against par. ~Sam Snead
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~Gardner Dickinson
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~Will Rogers
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~Sam Snead
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. ~Arnold Palmer
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. ~Phyllis Diller
Finally Broke 80 |
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 17/06/2008 12:08:12
Posts: 9, Visits: 10 |
| Golf truisms
1 Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
2 The less skilled the player, the more likely he (or she) is to share ideas about the golf swing.
3 No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
4 If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
5 Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.
6 Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
7 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
8 ounting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
9 Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
10 The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
11 There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
12 You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch 90% of the time.
13 If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
14 Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
15 To calculate the speed of a players downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap; i.e., backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300 mph.
16 There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
17 Water hazards attract, fairways repel.
18 You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
19 A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 04/02/2008 22:23:22
Posts: 24, Visits: 37 |
| number 17 is so true!!
It's time to PAR-TEE!! |
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 29/09/2008 16:13:53
Posts: 20, Visits: 47 |
| Hi Monty
 Love some of those Quotes
Tiger |
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 29/09/2008 16:13:53
Posts: 20, Visits: 47 |
|  Whoops!!!!! another senior moment it should be: Hi Duke love some of those Quotes!
Will try harder to get it right next time
Tiger |
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 14/05/2008 22:18:07
Posts: 30, Visits: 32 |
| No problem.
It comes to us all.
Finally Broke 80 |
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 29/09/2008 16:13:53
Posts: 20, Visits: 47 |
|  Congrats on breaking 80 Just think what the summer will bring with all that roll on the fairways. It will be Still can't break 70
Keep up the good work
Tiger |
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